Late to the Scary Movies! A review of The Thing

Late to the Scary Movies! A review of The Thing

Clark: I dunno what the hell’s in there, but it’s weird and pissed off, whatever it is.

The Thing happened to be the movie that received the most votes when I asked for input into my Scary Movie October list. Needless to say, I was really excited to watch it.

I ended up enjoying The Thing tremendously, which is a very good thing since I was disappointed by The Fly. That idea of being in a secluded place and completely unable to escape is terrifying to me (and one of the reasons why Alien was so scary). I love the idea of a shape-shifting monster and the additional obstacle of not being able to trust anyone (though, you know, whenever the person who is the Thing gets called out, their demeanor suddenly changes a bit before their body explodes). Although it is necessary for the story, the gore and violence, and even the disgusting dog head thing, is all secondary to the psychological terror. These are the types of horror movies that I prefer.

I happen to love that the original carrier is a dog (at least, for this camp). And what a sneaky dog it is. It seems so cute and innocent at first (well, not to me) and then suddenly eats some of the dogs and transforms into a creepy, hideous creature. Sure, Blair ends up going crazy and killing the rest of the dogs and I think everyone is well aware of how much I dislike animal deaths in movies. But this is excusable. For the sake of the movie, I say.

[Just found these storyboards of the dog scene if anyone is interested.]

Speaking of Blair going nuts, he destroys the helicopters and the radios after he finds out from his ghetto computer that, if the organism escapes, it could infect all life within 27,000 hours. If that were me, I’d certainly be a little curious to find out what happens if everything does get infected. Does The Thing die of starvation? Or does it just try and hop to another planet? That sounds difficult for one Thing to do on its own.

I really love the mystery of the ending. Is Childs the Thing? Is he going to kill MacReady? Did the Thing die in the explosion? Did one of the dogs escape (I really hope so)? Is there a sexy Norwegian who somehow survived and happens to have another helicopter and has just been hiding out this entire time swoop down to save Childs and MacReady before they freeze to death? Or… do they just freeze to death? (That’s boring.)

Oh. And remind me to never become a paramedic. I’ll never look at a defibrillator the same way again.

Finally, I have to admit that I’m a little curious to see the new The Thing since it’s apparently a prequel and not a remake. It’ll probably be incredibly crappy but I might fork over the $4.00 for a matinée and see it sometime soon. I’m now also curious to see the original The Thing (now referred to as The Thing From Another World).

Face palm moment: I can’t take Keith David seriously in anything after watching him say, “HOW DO YOU GET THE BEANS ABOVE THE FRANK?” I mean, really. I love that movie though.

Favorite part: I’ll let this picture speak for itself.


Also, I have only ever seen Kurt Russell in The Computer That Wore Tennis Shoes (don’t ask). He is one sexy, hairy man in this movie.

The “I missed that in pop culture trivia” moment: I’ve always wondered why Wilford Brimley was relevant enough to do his DIABEETUS commercials. I mean, I saw The Firm this summer and although he is… hilarious in it, I figured there had to be more. I enjoyed him in The Thing, especially since (aside from MacReady) Blair is my favorite character. Anyway, it’s a little weird seeing him in this without that moustache. He looks naked without it.


Regrettable tardiness scale (out of 10): 5/10. I wouldn’t say I regret not seeing it until now but I liked it a lot and it is definitely a new favorite. It’ll be added to the regular October viewing list.


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