Late to the Scary Movies! A review of the Fly

Late to the Scary Movies! A review of the Fly

Seth Brundle: My teeth have begun to fall out. The medicine cabinet is now the Brundle Museum of Natural History. You wanna see what else is in it?

My friend Patrick told me about a time when he was a little kid and walked in on his parents watching the final transformation scene in The Fly and it scarred him for life. I should have taken that as a hint that I might like the movie.

I don’t know what it is about body parts falling off but that sort of thing doesn’t scare me as much as it makes me want to throw up. I remember watching the scene in Dead Alive when some lady’s ear falls off into her oatmeal and she eats it. At least, I think that’s what happened– I don’t exactly remember because I was gagging. I can watch people get shot, stabbed, beaten. I can watch people get dismembered. Shoot, I even enjoyed the scene in The Fly where Seth arm-wrestles that jerk in the bar and it results in a compound fracture. But there’s something about body parts coming off in a melty-like fashion that just makes me sick. And not in a good way.

I can handle gore when it complements the story (Audition, for example) but here it seemed to be the highlight. The gruesome scenes were such a distraction to me that they overshadowed the plot. Even the scene with Geena Davis giving birth to that maggot was disappointing. Reading reviews like ‘better than the original’ and ‘one of the greatest horror movies ever made,’ I guess I was expected to be scared or horrified and instead I just felt like puking. I really found nothing scary about The Fly, except for the fact that Jeff Goldblum transforming into a fly looks an awful a lot like Michael Jackson as a zombie. Reading about it now, maybe it would take another viewing to fully appreciate the plot but I just don’t think I’m down for another vom-fest.

Also, I’ve had a few people tell me that I look like Geena Davis and now I’m not sure if I should start taking that as an insult.

Face palm moment: Less face palm moments, more hand-to-mouth-to-prevent-vomit-spew moments (I’m just being dramatic at this point).

Favorite part: None, really. The scenes with Tawny from the bar were entertaining, but that’s it.

The “I missed that in pop culture trivia” moment: Goldblum’s character had some clever quips but there weren’t many quotes that I recognized.

Regrettable tardiness scale (out of 10): 2/10. Not feeling this one, guys.

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