Late to Drinking Ovaltine? A review of A Christmas Story

Late to Drinking Ovaltine? A review of A Christmas Story

Mr. Parker: Fra-gee-lay. That must be Italian. 

A quote from the Internet: “There is absolutely no way that anyone could ever say they never saw this film since it’s shown every Christmas, especially on TNT when they do the 24 hours of A Christmas Story, lol.”

JUST FYI, JERK– THIS CHRISTMAS ON TNT THEY PLAYED THE NBA ALL DAY (which I did watch this year, go Celtics [yes, I know they lost]). The special is on TBS, lol.

Ugh, I hate people who say that stuff though. I watch a ton of Christmas specials throughout the season, from Grinch to Mickey’s Christmas Carol to Rudolph to Frosty and Miracle on 34th Street and Scrooged and I end with It’s a Wonderful Life on Christmas Eve. I love Christmas movies and I’ve simply never, ever been interested in the Christmas Story marathon. But since I’m doing this blog, and tons of people claim A Christmas Story to be their favorite holiday-themed movie EVAR, I had to watch.

So… I do NOT get the love for this movie. A classic? Hm. It’s not a particularly charming or funny movie to me. In fact, I found it fairly boring and even awful at times. I wanted to turn the movie off after the scene with the younger brother acting as “mommy’s little piggy” but I was forced to watch until the end. The movie’s only redeeming quality was Darren McGavin and I really would have preferred the movie be about him on a vacation away from his horrible family.

I know that there will be people who will claim that I would have loved this movie if I had watched it at a younger age. I don’t think that’s the case. I have seen Christmas Vacation a million times and still laugh at Aunt Bethany’s jello and cat food mold or Margot’s investigation into why the carpet is, in fact, all wet (Todd). I have seen It’s a Wonderful Life a billion times and still bawl like a baby every time Harry toasts his brother, the richest man in town (and then I watch the SNL alternate ending). While watching A Christmas Story, I chuckled at a few scenes but generally felt annoyed and bored and not at all in the Christmas spirit.

Dear America, if you love this movie I suspect you have been played by TBS and their marketing team. Sorry.

Face palm moment: MOMMY’S LITTLE PIGGY.

Favorite part: I’ll admit that the little brother being wrapped up in that coat was hilarious. I definitely felt that way during the winters I survived in Chicago.

The “I missed that in pop culture trivia” moment: A Christmas Story is all over pop culture trivia (leg lamp, tongue to the flag pole, fra-gee-lay, you’ll shoot your eye out, fa-ra-ra-ra-ra ra-ra-ra-ra). In my case, I happened to figure out from years of quoting the movie or seeing the TBS commercials that all of these moments came from ACS. But what can I say. I am a genius.

Regrettable tardiness scale (out of 10): 1. Probs will not watch ever again.


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