Maverick: Talk to me, Goose.
Prologue by Annie Harrigan:
Well. I’m not really sure how to follow that up but I’ll try.
Hm. I feel like I’d like to start this review off with a quote from my former roommate, Courtney:
There wouldn’t be bros if not for Top Gun.
I always thought that was kind of brilliant.
Anyway, Top Gun is really where this whole entire project began. So it would have been a nice way to end the blog but I was getting really tired of hearing people shriek, ‘YOU’VE NEVER SEEN TOP GUN?!!?!?!!?!’ So here we are.
And honestly, watching Top Gun was supposed to solve this huge mystery for me. You see, once upon a time I was a junior bride (yes, a junior bride. Not a junior bridesmaid. I got into a fight with someone about this when I was ten. I take my role seriously) in this wedding and the reception was at the Midland and at one point, the bride got up on the staircase and all of the wedding dudes sang “You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling” to her. And I got upset because that’s a very sad wedding song and my mom said, “you’ll understand when you’re old enough to see Top Gun.” I never forgot that. Well, thanks Mom but my question still isn’t really answered. It’s goofy as hell that they do that at weddings. You guys make no sense.
Beyond that, Annie covered everything in her little cartoon. Best part? Everything with Goose in it. Particularly Goose in the volleyball scene. Seriously, check out his outfit:
Love that guy.
I think you have to see this as a little kid like Kevin did, because Kevin told me that he remembered being an 11-year-old watching this movie and wanting to be a pilot and every boy his age wanted to be a pilot. I do not want to be a pilot, and I’m not an 11-year-old boy. So the movie was fine but I pretty much lost interest after Goose died (as Annie depicted). I thought the music was absolutely the best part of the movie. And I did not find Val Kilmer anything but a semi-creepy douche.
Also of note: when I mentioned on Twitter that I was watching Top Gun, four different people told me to watch the Quentin Tarantino take on Top Gun. I agree with his premise that the movie is slightly (more than slightly) homoerotic. But dude’s final point is that the last line of the movie is, ‘you can ride my tail.’ It’s not.
Iceman: You can be my wingman any time.
Maverick: Bullshit! You can be mine.
And finally, what would your call sign be? Mine, obviously, would be Snack Mantis. Or just Mantis.
Face palm moment: For the absolute first time in my life I actually found Tom Cruise attractive. WEIRD. I’ve only ever seen Tom Cruise in The Firm and Minority Report and I liked him in both, but I never thought he was kind of cute. Well, I thought he was kind of cute in Top Gun. Until he took off his shirt and then I just thought he was on steroids.
Favorite part: The first scene at Top Gun when they are watching movies about fighter planes and that one dude says “this gives me a hard on” and that one other dude says “don’t tease me.” And also, “I WANT SOME BUTTS!!” Seriously, what is with this movie?
Regrettable tardiness scale (out of 10): My guy friends are going to kill me but this gets a two. I wasn’t missing anything. Really. I definitely wasn’t the target audience for this one.
- ‘Top Gun’ Taught Me What It Is to be THE Man (Review) (popmatters.com)
- DT Pick Of The Week: 25th Anniversary Of Top Gun On Blu-ray (wcbsfm.radio.com)
- Video: ‘Top Gun’ turns 25 (thestar.com)