Late to flying school! A review of the movie Top Gun.

Maverick: Talk to me, Goose.

Prologue by Annie Harrigan:

A Top Gun Cartoon

Top Gun thoughts by Annie Harrigan


LTTM Review:

Well. I’m not really sure how to follow that up but I’ll try.

Hm. I feel like I’d like to start this review off with a quote from my former roommate, Courtney:

There wouldn’t be bros if not for Top Gun.

I always thought that was kind of brilliant.

Anyway, Top Gun is really where this whole entire project began. So it would have been a nice way to end the blog but I was getting really tired of hearing people shriek, ‘YOU’VE NEVER SEEN TOP GUN?!!?!?!!?!’ So here we are.

And honestly, watching Top Gun was supposed to solve this huge mystery for me. You see, once upon a time I was a junior bride (yes, a junior bride. Not a junior bridesmaid. I got into a fight with someone about this when I was ten. I take my role seriously) in this wedding and the reception was at the Midland and at one point, the bride got up on the staircase and all of the wedding dudes sang “You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling” to her. And I got upset because that’s a very sad wedding song and my mom said, “you’ll understand when you’re old enough to see Top Gun.” I never forgot that. Well, thanks Mom but my question still isn’t really answered. It’s goofy as hell that they do that at weddings. You guys make no sense.

Beyond that, Annie covered everything in her little cartoon. Best part? Everything with Goose in it. Particularly Goose in the volleyball scene. Seriously, check out his outfit:

Love that guy.

I think you have to see this as a little kid like Kevin did, because Kevin told me that he remembered being an 11-year-old watching this movie and wanting to be a pilot and every boy his age wanted to be a pilot. I do not want to be a pilot, and I’m not an 11-year-old boy. So the movie was fine but I pretty much lost interest after Goose died (as Annie depicted). I thought the music was absolutely the best part of the movie. And I did not find Val Kilmer anything but a semi-creepy douche.

Also of note: when I mentioned on Twitter that I was watching Top Gun, four different people told me to watch the Quentin Tarantino take on Top Gun. I agree with his premise that the movie is slightly (more than slightly) homoerotic. But dude’s final point is that the last line of the movie is, ‘you can ride my tail.’ It’s not.

Iceman: You can be my wingman any time.
Maverick: Bullshit! You can be mine.

And finally, what would your call sign be? Mine, obviously, would be Snack Mantis. Or just Mantis.

Face palm moment: For the absolute first time in my life I actually found Tom Cruise attractive. WEIRD. I’ve only ever seen Tom Cruise in The Firm and Minority Report and I liked him in both, but I never thought he was kind of cute. Well, I thought he was kind of cute in Top Gun. Until he took off his shirt and then I just thought he was on steroids.

Favorite part: The first scene at Top Gun when they are watching movies about fighter planes and that one dude says “this gives me a hard on” and that one other dude says “don’t tease me.” And also, “I WANT SOME BUTTS!!” Seriously, what is with this movie?

The “I missed that in pop culture trivia” moment: Nothing really, except Tom Skerritt looked really familiar and Google tells me that he was on Picket Fences, which I have actually seen a few times.

Regrettable tardiness scale (out of 10): My guy friends are going to kill me but this gets a two. I wasn’t missing anything. Really. I definitely wasn’t the target audience for this one.

16 responses to “Late to flying school! A review of the movie Top Gun.

  1. That comic is the best thing ever.

    I haven’t even read the review yet. I just had to say that first.

  2. Sorry (you can delete my first comment).

    You don’t love it? I love it because it’s cheesy AND dramatic. And you know, Dr. Mark Green is in it. I wonder if that’s a generational thing, loving Maverick vs. loving Goose more.

  3. Another great entry–and an AWESOME cartoon, too!

    You’re right, you had to be caught up in Reagan’s America of the ’80s to REALLY understand Top Gun’s effect. It came at a time when Americans felt invincible–and entitled… plus, they shoved the soundtrack down our throats on radio, so you couldn’t escape it..

    Of course, there’s a lot of repressed ’80s sexuality in there (loved the cartoon point about the double beards), so, to me, these days it’s simply one of those movies you laugh at on TV. Still, at the time, as a 15-year-old clueless kid, I wanted short hair, aviator specs, a leather jacket (collar popped), and a motorcycle, too (not to mention Kelly McGillis straddled on it behind me…even though she apparently wouldn’t want me).

    And, yes, it’s hilarious that “You’ve Lost that Loving Feeling” is used in weddings. I have a friend whose parents claimed it as their wedding song, too (they must be in their 60s). It’s like people who fall in love to the Police’s “Every Breath You Take” (a stalker manifesto if ever there was one).

    Also, maybe you remember Tom Skerritt from KU Med Center commercials… he’s a great actor; wonderful in M*A*S*H.

    Have you seen “The Right Stuff,” by the way? It’s a much better movie made in the ’80s about pilots/aviation.

  4. “I’ve only ever seen Tom Cruise in The Firm and Minority Report”

    I…just……I mean…wow…

    I thought for sure that “Negative, Ghost Rider, the pattern is full.” was going to be one of your THAT’S where that is from?! moments.

    Even though you didn’t love it (I don’t like it as much as most bros), without Top Gun, we never have any of the batshit crazy Bruckheimer/Bay movies of the 90s.

  5. You really need to watch Risky Business if those are the only Tom Cruise movies you’ve seen.

  6. So you’ve really only seen Tom Cruise in three movies? That’s shocking and impressive.

  7. One of the things to remember about Top Gun is that it really helped usher in the home theater system. I don’t remember a single electronics store that didn’t have that movie playing to showcase big screen TVs (and by big, I mean cabinets that took up half of your room, big) and surround sound.

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