[Editor's note: if you have not yet seen The Usual Suspects and the identity of Keyzer Soze has not yet been spoiled for you, please don't read any further. This movie was ruined for me a few years ago and I would hate to do that to someone else.
Spoilers suck, but sometimes you just can’t help but spoil. I get it. Any time that you’re watching something old(ish) and popular, it’s likely that other people have already seen it. You can’t spend your life try to avoid spoiling plot points for people. I get it. I GET IT.
But sure as hell, when someone tells you that they haven’t seen a movie (or TV show), and you intentionally say something that spoils that movie (or TV show) for them, you are a garbage person.*
*For some reason, this was a frequent occurrence when I told people I was watching The Wire for the first time. “Oh, you love [fill-in-the-blank character]? Don’t get used to them being around for much longer because it really sucks when they die.” THANKS BUDDY.
The Usual Suspects was spoiled in a similar fashion for me and I have to say, knowing the identity of Keyzer Soze killed the buzz for me. When you know the secret ingredient to something, it just isn’t as exciting. As I watched the movie, my brain constantly said to me, “oh well, that’s Keyzer Soze doing this or that,” and I was so distracted that I could barely appreciate the movie.
Usual Suspects was still an entertaining movie. I’m biased as I absolutely adore Kevin Spacey and I’ve had a crush on Gabriel Byrne since accidentally watching Stigmata when I was fifteen (spoiler alert: it is god awful, do not watch). I also loved seeing a mumbling baby Benicio del Toro, so clearly the casting for this film was a big plus for me. The story was intriguing, perhaps a little complicated or hard to follow at times, but typically things became clearer after a while. I’m just a sucker for a twist ending (not some Sixth Sense-crap but more like a Hitchcock type of goodness) and I’m super bitter that I couldn’t experience the climatic-mystery-unraveling-scene at the end of the movie for what it really was. Bummer.
Face palm moment + Favorite part + The “I missed that in pop culture trivia” moment, all combined into one:
This gif, re: Manti Te’o and Lennay Kakua. I’m sayin’.
Regrettable tardiness scale (out of 10): 10 out of 10 for the spoiled factor.